There are many quotes about love and marriage.
Love is eternal, marriage happen in heaven and lot and lots. But, from my five years of married life, I have learnt that love do not happen, There is no magic in the air.
A little flashback. I was very inquisitive about love. Not knowing the feeling in my teenage days, I went on and on searching for true love of the princess from the fairy tales. But years and girls passed by, but I was still in wonderland, like the frog who dreamed of kiss from a princess.
But eventually, after making a fool out of myself for many years, I finally gave up for arranged marriage. In all those year of past, I suffered, smiled, laughed, cried in love, without knowing, what exactly is love.
Then one fine day, I met her. The meeting was pre fixed. She knew I was coming, and mine and her parents knew. It was an arranged girl-boy meet. And, I saw her. Didn’t knew, what to decide, how to decide. Is she the one for my life? I was thinking, how to make that decision?what was the criteria?Is it how she ranks in beauty or how she responds to the unplanned pep talk?And time was running as parents are waiting for our ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
Finally, I decided that it’s her. I never was able to decide then, whether she pars with my beauty concepts, or fits perfectly in my intellectual thought process. But, I knew, I have to take care of her no matter what.
Then, finally on that auspicious day, I got married. I don’t know, I was excited, she was happy and happiness was all around. We talked, and talked, watched sunsets together. We lived on and the first anniversary came on. Still, I could not make out the special place she sworn in my life. It was too normal.
In next six months, we moved to a new city, away from home, parents, relatives and all we know. All we had was each other, but still, we spend more phone calls to reduce the home away sickness. We enjoyed the privacy and the time after office. She started experimenting with cuisines as food was basic necessity and she never cooked in her life. But, I ignored the ‘extra salt’ and the dining outs and was slowly understanding her. It was like discovering someone so close and yet feeling wonderful. I never till then, looked into her heart and asked what she expected of me. I never understood, why she adjusted to all my anger and uneasiness taken for granted and waited for me to calm down. And the second anniversary, came, in the middle of short spark of love and affection that was building around us.
It was an anniversary in the middle of financial crisis and yet she accepted the small chocolate box like a diamond ring. Still I didn’t know why? I was thinking, why the value does not matter. I least understood, it was not the price value, it is the value we imprint to it that matters.
And I started seeing her with more affection and care from then. I didn’t know, but she was valuable for me. I cared for her happiness, no matter what. Yes, there were moments, when I went back to the stone age, but, I always concerned about her.
By the time, we reached the third year, we understood each other in the most explicit way like two humans can know. we knew, what the we liked and do not liked, when to stop or when to wait, what to say and what better not. There were no walls now, and the ice was breaking. Still, I was not there, when she wanted me the most. I didn’t understand, what it values for her to hold her hand and stroll lazily through the park.
And at the fourth anniversary, I gave her a party of her dreams. She was happy. I was happy to see her happy and I learnt that chocolate and milk taste better when the bitterness of chocolate and sweetness of milk mix together without thinking about the consequences.
From the moment, till today, for me love is the wine that grew stronger with years. My marriage would have decided in heaven, but we created heaven on our small home, by understanding and respect each others’ space. It doesn’t matter how much we say “I love you ” to each other every day, it is the assurance that comes, when she trusts me, when I feel comfort and peace in her arms and when I start feeling that walking lazily through the park, holding her arms does mean a lot to myself.
This piece is dedicated to the woman of my life, with whom, I didn’t fall in love at first sight. or made love happen, but with whom, I feel myself complete.