Methamphetamime, popularly shortened to meth or ice, is a psychostimulant and sympathomimetic drug. Methamphetamine enters the brain and triggers a cascading release of norepinephrine, dopamine and serotonin. Since it stimulates the mesolimbic reward pathway, causing euphoria and excitement, it is prone to abuse and addiction. Users may become obsessed or perform repetitive tasks such as cleaning, hand-washing, or assembling and disassembling objects. Withdrawal is characterized by excessive sleeping, eating and depression-like symptoms, often accompanied by anxiety and drug-craving.
We first smoked meth on New Year’s Eve because we heard it was great for sex. I had to work the next day and so saved some to smoke before work in the morning. When I got home another g was waiting for me and I smoked every day but one until I finally quit three months later. For three weeks we smoked meth with little consequence, then my skin became fragile and in addition to breaking out, started to swell. I was really worried because I was constantly thirsty and drinking water, but I rarely urinated. Then my kidneys started hurting. I had lost twenty pounds in two months and my husband had lost thirty, and we’d read somewhere that rapid weight loss can cause kidney failure. I slept every three or four days for an hour or so and woke feeling rested. I was an hour late for work everyday. My husband wrecked the truck three times. One day I forgot to feed my son. Everything was either the highest of highs or the lowest of lows, no in between existed anymore. We were banned from the sauna at our apartment complex because no one else could use it. Our sweat smelled so strongly of ammonia it burned the eyes, it was caustic, and it burned our skin too. My husband and I haven’t done any drugs at all for four weeks, and things are slowly going back to normal. But I still want it. I can’t sleep tonight because I want it. I wrote this in all honesty mostly to help myself, to remind myself why I don’t want it. And still I want it.