Monthly Archives: August 2009

Retrospect


It wasn’t so good. I woke up from a half broken sleep. I was still away from my destination, still trying to cope up with the fact that I am on the narrow edge of my life.
Life – Is it too complicated as it seems to be or just like a portrait of which I am the artist. The colours and lines that just blend with the pictures that rise around me in each day of my life. Sometimes, it has been good, sometimes quite a wreck, but had it been disappointing. Why? Because I am the artist of my life.

There was a time –  I couldn’t use my legs to take me to where I wanted to. I could not use my hands to grab the things. I stared at my mother, my eyes gleaming at her, to teach me. I screemed with my untrained tongue, as loud as I could, to teach me to epress my thoughts. To teach me to walk out and look at the open window, out of which I have imagined quite a lot of shadows and colours. I wanted to grab my father’s hand, when he was busy counting. I didnt know what he was doing at that time, since my fresh brain didn’t have any acquaintance with Currency bills. I used to sit with my hands crossed and my face in between , gasping at him, counting, recounting , sitting there for long, concentrating.
The past seems to be a shadow. A fainter shadow, that still, call out to me to etch it down.
Told stories of my past are often fascinating for me. When Mother says, you did this, did that, I often go back in my shadows of memories, trying to gasp those stories.
I don’t remember when I started to walk this earth. No one told me yet. But I have a lot of told stories, of what I did, when I started to use my legs.

Is there any good news?


I don’t know how many people belonging to different races across the world face this question. But, I do know that you will surely face this question, if you are a keralite, or may be surely, if you are an Indian. The question will bring more sense, if I tell you,  the context at which the question is being asked.

The context is , you are newly married and has covered a  minimum of 3 months and your relatives start asking you or your wife : “Is there any good news?”.I hope you got the nerve of the situation. If you are still stumbling in the wonder pot, let me explain in bare words that the question is whether your wife is pregnant or not?

It’s a common notion in  Indian society to get pregnant as soon as you are married. It doesn’t matter, whether the couples are mentally, physically, or even financially prepared for one of the great turning point of life, but the family, mostly the relatives wants it  sooner enough. What I still don’t understand in my intellect : Is the utter meaning of marriage is just child raising and living the life for the kids? Doesn’t the couples could decide when they are ready for the kid.

I just had a casual chit chat with one of my colleagues in this matter. He was married at the age of 26. Now, he is a proud father of a baby girl at the age of 28. He told me that there was a lot of pressure from his relatives, about getting a baby sooner after his marriage, and the pressure kept on building as the months started counting from his marriage date. But, his wife and himself kept nerve and had the baby at the right time, which they felt it was the right time. At a time, when they were prepared to raise a baby in their life.

The question is why this society is still primitive in the case of marriage and child raising. There was a time, when humans were historic and man and woman were tied together for evolving their family. Or in plain words, at that time, sex life was meant just for raising kid and woman is meant to bear it and grow it until it is ready to hunt or raise a kid herself.

That is a very very modern time from then, but the ideology still remains the same, with the root cause holding over the ages. The insistence of getting a baby as soon as you are married is still a culture of many races. I don’t know exactly how many, but there do exists a lot.

In my opinion, there is a precise time for baby’s arrival in the life of a couples. It has to be in their decision, when they need it. When a baby arrives in a family, the boy and girl(if they get married at a early age, if does happen now a days), must have the discretion to decide whether they are grown enough to grow a seed out of them. Also, they have to financially prepared, because a new member in a middle class family really does makes quite a difference in terms of budgets. At the same time, they must be psychologically prepared to accept that they areready and worth to raise a newborn in the path of virtue that they had lay out.

At least the society must stop asking around this centuries old question and grow up to face the new world and circumstances.